Halloween.

Halloween….
The excitement.
Anticipation.
Trick or treating. 
The end.
Time to go home.

It is over in the blink of an eye.
Weeks of preparation.
Weeks of scheduling, explaining, waiting.

Planning.
The costume.
It has to be the right one.
The right design. If it doesn’t fit with what she sees in her mind it isn’t right.
The right fabric. Not itchy, not hard, not stingy, not crinkly.
The seams in the right place.

The fear.
Scared of costumes.
Scared of sugar.
Scared of the tricks.
So much to fear.

Trick or treating.
Planning the route.        
Lessening anxiety by telling and showing her the route.                       
Making rules.
Lessening anxiety further by allowing her only to knock on doors with decorations visable.
Do not go in the house. A definate rule she must, must adhere to.
Take only 1 sweet.
Say your thank yous.

Still the fear.
Still the anxiety.

What if someone says trick?
What if someone asks a question?
What if someone speaks?
What if?
What if?

It goes against all my teaching of stranger awareness. Stranger danger.
My girl has no fear of the unknown.
I do not like Halloween but all the other children do it…
The guilt. The feeling my child may miss out.
Maybe seen as different.
She is different.
I don’t want to stop her taking part in things all other children do just because she is different.
It is just the rules have to change.

What if someone knocks on our door?
She may like it and get excited.
She may dislike it and bolt.
She may not want to share her sweets….give away what is ‘hers’.

Anxiety for my girl.
Anxiety for me.

Halloween.
Stressful, enjoyable, anxious, fun!
Over for another year.

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