Cream together the sugar and butter,
Add eggs and flour,     
Bake in the oven for 20 mins…
= A cake.

So you used the correct ingredients, followed the method, cooked it at the right temperature and for the allotted time…..
…so why does it come out different everytime?
Why does it sometimes rise, other times not?
Why is it sometimes overcooked, sometimes undercooked?  
Why is it sometimes hard, sometimes soft?
You followed the same directions, but it turned out different each time.

Sound familiar?

Our children. Everyones children.
Just like making a cake, we use the same method, but each one comes out different.
The variations enormous.
No 2 children ever the same.

So why do we expect our children to be the same?
To develop at the same rates?

If we try to make 2 identical cakes, with identical ingredients and method, they still they end up different.
Children are the same.
They develop and ‘bake’ differently.
The finish is always a suprise.

Playground parent talk of; my child can do this, my child can do that is following these principles….assuming everyone is the same.     

Anxiety in playgrounds are rife as parents panic.
Their child is not the same as the one who can speak 4 languages at 6 whilst the other is still struggling with 1.

Pre diagnosis I fell into this trap.
The trap of thinking my cake wasn’t rising, that my cake wasn’t cooking quick enough, that my cake was different.

But the truth is, my cake was different.
Somehow Autism and other conditions were added to the ingredients.
Secretly whisked in with the eggs.
They weren’t on the list.
They weren’t in the method, but there they are,
Adding a bit of spice.

But I like cake.
Any variant of cake infact.

This Mum won’t give up eating cake just because it isn’t how it was ‘supposed’ to turn out.
This Mum will work with the cake she has.
This mum knows that every cake is different; may have different flavours, may have risen, may have sunk…..because she loves cake.
Because she accepts differences.
Because she accepts, and counts her blessings, for every bit of something extra she finds in her cake.

Strive for uniqueness.
Embrace difference.

Eat cake!



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