Sleep!

​Sleep.
I need sleep.
I want sleep.
All night sleep.
The sleep where you get time to dream.
The sleep where you wake up feeling refreshed.
The sleep I need.
The sleep I crave.

The problem is I have had 9 years of broken sleep.
I can’t switch off.
I can’t relax.
I lay in bed waiting.
Waiting for my girl to wake up.
Waiting for my girl to call me into her room.
Sitting upright with every creak of her bed.

I have forgotten how to have a good nights sleep.

My bodyclock has decided that broken sleep is my only option.
My brain has decided that night time is the best time to think.
To put pressure on myself, to lace myself with guilt.
Time to mull over appointments, make mental notes of things I need to do and chase up.

Sleep.
I need sleep.
I want sleep.

Today I am grumpy.
My girl has been awake since 2.30am.
I have come to bed early to try and catch up with some sleep before she wakes again.
I can’t sleep.
Too much going on.

My girl moves up to her new class tomorrow.
My boy moves to his new school.
So many anxieties.
So much uncertainty.
Too much change.

I want sleep….
…but some things are more important.

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