Independence.

​My boy is seven. 
If we go out and I tell him it is dangerous to run off, he accepts it.
He listens, understands and stays close by.
He understands the dangers around roads and I am able to give him some independence.

My girl is nine and that is something we are still working on.
She cannot be out of my sight at any time.
Ever.

My girl wants to run free.
To not have any rules.
She has very, very little road safety awareness and no concept of danger at all.
None.
Giving her independence is difficult.
Along with independence comes trust.
I trust my girl, but not Autism.

When we go out, I find it difficult to manage.
I can never really fully relax.
My eyes are fixed on my girl, I am ready to run at any given moment.
 
My girl is stubborn, extremely strong willed and headstrong.
If she wants to do something, she does it.
No arguments.
So when she sees my boy with his bit of independence, she gets cross.
She just doesn’t understand…doesn’t see what I see.
It is so difficult.
I have to make decisions, give and take a little.
Come to a compromise.
I give her independence as much as I am able to know she is safe.

I will continue to teach her about danger.
The world is a very dangerous place for someone as vulnerable as my girl.
 
I will continue to give her independence….
….but on my terms, when I know it is safe too.

I trust my girl.
I do not trust the unpredictable nature of Autism.

Today was just perfect.
We went to the beach and we were the only ones there.
Instead of standing right behind her making sure she doesn’t run off, I let her be on her own.
I sat and explained to both her and her brother not to run, not to go into the sea, to stay safe.
I asked my girl if I could trust her to be good.
She said yes.

I sat back (close enough to run if needed…..I am ALWAYS ready to run!)
I watched, I smiled, I felt proud.
Best of all, my girl was proud of herself too.

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