What is it?

​Sometimes I don’t understand Autism.
Or if it is Autism?
Or if it is bad behaviour?

That sometimes was today.
This morning.

We were ready to go out to a place of my girls choosing.
All was going well, just about to go when she wanted her sunglasses.
I gave her the sunglasses…..
…..HUGE meltdown/tantrum?!

She has 2 pairs of sunglasses.
They are IDENTICAL.
Exactly the same. Completely.

She didn’t want the pair I gave her.
Typically the other ones have vanished into thin air.
She went mad.
It was crazy.
Screaming, shouting, throwing things….absolutely complete lack of self control.

I assume it was Autism because she is Autistic.
I assume it was Autism because she could not see the rationale that they were exactly the same.
I assume it was Autism as there was just no reasoning with her.

It could have been just the behaviour of a 9 year old?
But then I think she is too old for tantrums?
What possibly could she have gained by finding the other pair?

It made sense to her.
No sense at all to us.

Was it anxiety?
Because we were leaving the house?
Because it was the unknown?
Because she didn’t know where they are?

Sometimes, just sometimes, I have no idea.
At all.

I got cross and told her “they are only sunglasses.”
…..but they weren’t to her.
To her this all meant something.

Just to understand and experience life through her eyes for one day…….if only.

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