It’s ok to not be ok.

Autism.
The bad days.
They happen.
You feel like a failure.
You feel like you want to crawl away and hide.
Like everything is too much.
You want to put the Autism into a box and put it away.

The days you feel you can’t cope.
The days you cry through sheer frustration.
Through anger, that you can’t control your own child.
You the adult, cannot control your own child.
The days you feel like your falling…..failing.
That hurts. That is hard. That feels like failure.

But you get through the bad days because of the good.
Because of the achievement and progress they have made.
Because your heart is bursting with love and pride for the child you have raised.
Because of the challenges they face daily and we are the one person they can trust.
We do it for them.

But it is ok to have a bad day.
It is ok to say you are not ok.
To say you are struggling.

It is ok to look at your sleeping child and whisper sorry.
To be sorry getting cross, for not listening, not understanding.
To be sorry for not seeing their struggles.
For forgetting the Autism. For having your emotions cloud your vision.

Today I am not ok.
Tomorrow is another day.

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