My girl does not like change.
She has great difficulty moving from one activity to another and dealing with change in routine.
As with many children on the Autism Spectrum, moving between different stages is hard work.
It needs preparation, time and patience.
Big changes like starting school, moving house, going somewhere new, are all expected to cause anxiety, reluctance and meltdowns.
And they do.
Transitions occur naturally as part of everyday life.
Transitions that require us to stop what we are doing, move to a new location, and start doing something new.
The biggest transition problem we have. Home to school.
Every single morning my girl refuses to go to school.
Every single morning she is late.
Every. Single. Morning.
I have tried so many strategies but nothing seems to work.
When it is time to go she hides, or finds a 100 things she ‘needs’ to do, she can get violent, aggressive, or just sit in her seat and refuse to move.
No matter how motivating I make the situation, even if I use a suitable ‘bribe’, there is a brick wall there that she needs time to see over.
A brick wall she needs to scale before she can get over it.
Everyday I try to analyse her behaviour.
I try to work out why she is being so reluctant to go.
What is she gaining or avoiding by her resistance?
Is she avoiding school or an aspect of school?
Is it because she is unsure of what happens next; as school routine is loosely timed?
Is the work too hard?
Is she finding the social interaction too difficult?
Is there a need to continue the activity that she is doing before school?
Is she just avoiding an activity she doesn’t like?
Is it all an attempt to gain attention or control?
I don’t know the answers, I can only guess.
My girl will not tell me how she is feeling, I can only imagine the reason for this is because she doesn’t understand the emotions she is feeling, herself.
I can guess that she is struggling with writing due to her constantly dislocating fingers.
I can guess that she is struggling with the social side as the girls are emotionally more mature.
….but I don’t know. I may never know.
What I do know?
My girl decided that sitting with boxer shorts on her head was much more productive than getting ready for school this morning!
She always seems to wear something on her head. Pants today.
Clean ones at least!