Our Autism Blog.

I had some very suprising, but amazing news this week, my little blog has been nominated in 3 categories out of 6, in The Bloody Awesome Parent Awards-blogging awards!
Shocked is an understatement.
My blog was never written for views or statistics, it was written for me!
The nominees will be shortlisted and announced on Monday.
I am not expecting to make any lists, I just feel really pleased to have been nominated.
I feel proud that someone has read my work and it may have helped in someway.
Thank you to whoever it may have been.

I started my blog quite selfishly.
I was struggling.
I was falling into a deep dark hole of diagnosis, loneliness and failure.
I felt guilty, I felt useless.
I was struggling to look after my own child because I didn’t understand her….
….and that hurt. So much.

I wanted to raise Autism Awareness because I needed people to understand us.
I wanted to raise Autism Awareness to help my girl to be accepted.

My aim was to share all experiences in words or poem form.
Not just the good, because when I started my blog I was very low.
I wanted people to know that it is ok to feel overwhelmed.
It is ok to feel guilty, to grieve…..to do all the things you feel you shouldn’t.
I didn’t know it was OK, that it was normal even, and I spiralled into depression and breakdown.

I blog for personal therapy.
I need an outlet.
When it gets too much I can get my thoughts organised by text.
I can organise my thoughts and see solutions, and what went wrong.

The part I love most?
When my heart is bursting with pride I can share with you all.

I wanted to be honest.
Autism isn’t all about the positives.
I didn’t want to be a blog about all the good things my girl does because then I wouldn’t be giving you a real insight.
She does so many good things, she really is amazing.

Autism is hard. Anyone with experience of Autism will tell you the same.
Somedays you just want to bury your head in the sand and admit defeat.
Somedays you want to stand on the rooftops and shout in excitement about progess…..
….that is just the way it is.

I want offer an honest viewpoint into the world of Autism.
A unique window into a unique world.
No 2 children with Autism are the same.
Their difficulties differ. Their strong points differ.
I may go through periods of negativity and only seem to blog about the things that are hard.
This is my therapy. This is the reality.

I blog because of my girl.
Girls have Autism too! So many still believe that only boys can be on the spectrum.
Experiences of girls on the spectrum are few and far between.

I write to share my days. To give the world some kind of insight.
To try and educate.
To try and gain acceptance.
To help people feel they are not alone.
Autism can be a lonely place. You are given a diagnosis and then left to pick up the pieces and build this puzzle but you have very little clue about what the picture is.

The days where things have been too hard, I bet people relate. I hope they do.
I want people to see that it is normal. That everything is normal.

I need that rant. That outlet of my frustration.
It is not for pity, or sympathy,
It is to teach.
To teach people what goes on behind closed doors.
To teach people how different our children are when they don’t have to conform.
To teach people about Autism; the bits they don’t get to see.

I wanted to teach people Autism is a spectrum disorder.
It is variable. It differs daily.
So many times I have been asked how my girl got her diagnosis when she can talk!
You cannot judge Autism by looking at 1 child with Autism, or reading 1 book about Autism.

I do it honestly.
I do it because it helps me.

I hope it helps others.

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