A message to the newly diagnosed parents.

I remember when we were first made aware that my girl may be different.
When those first words of ‘I think there maybe a problem’ were dropped into conversation.
I felt scared, lonely and like I had failed at parenthood.
If I was going to give advice to a new special needs parents it would be this.

You will spend the early years pretending everything is ok.
Convincing yourself that your child is just a bit delayed.
You will spend hours on google searching for parents whose child is similar.
You will tell yourself that it is all ok…but you know.
You KNOW.
One day you will realise that there is a difference.
From that day you will do everything in your power to get a diagnosis.
You will be sad when the diagnosis comes, but also pleased.
You will grieve and be envious of normal families….and you will feel awful for it.
You will enter a stage of denial, believing you have got it all wrong.
You will look for things to convince yourself that they are the same as everyone else.
Then comes the day you stop.
The day you accept what is.

Regardless of how any professional may label your child, they are still the same child….still your child.

You will still be a mum.
You are still the same person.
…but you are now a special needs mum.
A carer.
Everyday will be met with fear and anxiety.
Everyday you will learn something new.
You will spend your days googling, researching and digesting information about your childs condition.
You will become an expert on your child.
Hungry for any knowledge you can get your hands on.
You will become an educator, teaching your friends and family all they need to know.

Some days will be hard.
Harder than you ever thought possible, but you will get through it.
Somehow you will.
Dont focus on these days, the happier ones will far outnumber them.
Some people are ignorant and will say hurtful things.
Try to ignore them, perhaps forgive them….you may have been that ignorant person once.

There will be days where you see no light at the end of the tunnel.
There will be days you feel pride so deep at your child’s every achievement.
You will go through every emotion there is.
You will be ok!
You will get through this.
You will be….and are….a fantastic parent.
You are stronger than you think.

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