I cannot bear it.
I am heartless.
I am mean, every morning she hates me.
I know I am heartless; because every single morning my heart breaks a bit more. Surely there can’t be any left.
Its just an empty shell pulsing blood around my body.
The pain of seeing her so hurt.
The despair at seeing her anger and frustration.
My anger, my frustration.
The tears fall. Mine and hers.
We cry together, but not together.
Hers tears of anger, of hatred. Mine tears of heartbreak.
I do this to her.
Society does this to her.
School. School does this to her everyday.
It is not right for her, she needs a school more suited to her needs.
We are trying.
They are trying our patience.
This Mum will fight and this Mum will win.
We can’t do this everyday, it is just not right.
My girl is so different in the school holidays.
The meltdowns, the anxiety, the violence….all kept at a minimum.
It is literally tearing me apart.