A few friends I know have undiagnosed, newly diagnosed and diagnosed children but do not have anyone to talk to.
How can I help them?
I want to be of some support, to be able to help them, to be of some use.
Support is hard to come by.
You think you can talk to your ‘mainstream’ mum friends but in all honesty you can’t.
They just don’t get it.
You want to ask for help but you think it is your fault.
You want to approach professionals but are scared they will tell you it is bad parenting.
So you fall………
…………into a deep loneliness, into a hole where you feel there is no way out.
There is no one to talk to.
No one you can talk to about your childs behaviour without getting judged…..
…Without people having an opinion.
You fall into a trap of talking about the negative behaviours, the differences in other children. Forgetting all the positives as your brain is just so overwhelmed with anxiety.
You start resenting mainstream parent conversations of “my child can do this”, “my child can do this better”.
You avoid social situations because you don’t want to admit, share, think about how different your child is, how hard it is and how you have lost control.
I want to be able to show people how low I got, how I did get to breaking point, but how you can learn to manage.
Manage….. not control.
Cope….. not control.
I see dispair. I see hurt. I see how hard it is to admit your child is difficult……because I have been there.
I am there.
I struggle daily, somedays I can’t cope.
Some days I am physically and mentally hurt, I feel so exhausted, so worn out, but I have learnt to admit it, not hide it anymore.
Shout it from the rooftops because it is nothing to be ashamed of.
It isn’t wrong, it is something to be proud of – I am raising a child with Special Needs.
I have learnt ninja skills, I have learnt to be more patient then I ever thought possible.
I have learnt that being alone doesn’t help.
I have learnt you get no where without asking for help.
It is a long hard process but the first step is accepting that you need support.
Never forget your own needs. Ever.