A letter to you all.

Dear Autism parents and carers,

Scrolling through my social media posts these past few days I have seen so many cries for help.
So many of you are struggling with the holidays, with the change to the routine.
I am too. We all are. You are not alone.
I need to say something to you. You might not like but….
…please, please, stop apologising for reaching out.
Please stop with the ‘Sorry, I feel awful for saying this,’ ‘Sorry,I dont want to share this but’, ‘Sorry but I love my child but hate Autism’,
‘I am a rubbish Mum because I can’t cope’, ‘What did I do wrong?’……because you are allowed to not be coping!
It is ok to not be ok!

Autism is bloody hardwork and unless we share the truth awareness can never truly be increased.
To be aware people need facts.
Autism is not all flowers and fairys, sometimes it is just weeds and devils.
You do not ever, never, need to apologise for being honest.
You need to give yourself a pat on the back for having the guts to state the truth, for having the courage to admit that things are hard.

We all have days when we hate Autism. When our days are full of meltdowns, anxiety and undesirable behaviour.
We all love our children more than anything else, but it is normal to get fustrated with them….with the Autism.
We do it because we care.
We reach out because we want reassurance that we are not alone.
You are most certainly not alone, and please don’t ever be sorry for writing how you feel.

I know it is a natural reaction.
It somehow feels like we are writing that we don’t love our children because we are saying that it is hard work.
We know you all love your children, honestly we do.
You are allowed to say that you have had a bad day.

People judge, I know. And I know this is the reason people don’t like to publish their true feelings.
I used to be the same. Worried people would think I was a moaner, a failure, a bad Mum….
….now I don’t care.
Nobody has ever walked in my shoes therefore they have no right to judge.
I will not apologise for stating how I feel because that is how I cope.

To all those Autism parents and carers out there, you are doing an amazing job.
It might not feel like it today, or last week, but you have got this.
Don’t ever feel the need to apologise for reaching out or asking for help. EVER.

Here for you always,

Our Autism Mum.


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