The place where my girl is at her most vulnerable, the place she hates more than anywhere else.
Today we were there for an appointment for my boy.
“Take my girl, show her that it isn’t a place to fear”
…a logical thought process….or so I thought.
Here is proof that I still get it wrong more often than not!
It went wrong. Very wrong.
The fear of the dentist was worse than I thought, and now worse than ever.
My girl WANTED to go to the dentist.
She likes to see her brother go through unpleasant experiences.
She likes to tease him and scare him…..the normal sibling stuff.
She WANTED to go.
My brave boy was in the dentist chair having his check up and 3 things changed our day.
1) the dentist used the metal spike tool thing to prod his teeth.
2) the dentist offered to pull out a tooth that has been wobbly for over a year!
3) my boy agreed……
Oh my goodness, what happened next was a meltdown, panic attack and bolting situation like I had never experienced before.
My girl lost all control.
Screaming, crying, hyperventilating, and ran out of the room trying to escape the building.
Meanwhile my boy, who was absolutely fine, was left in the room with the dentist.
My heart broke in 2, my heart was torn in 2.
My girl was scared beyond recognition, my boy was all alone.
I was left a gibbering, quivering wreck.
I coaxed my girl to come back near the room so I could peep in on my boy to find he was now in floods of tears due to the tooth removal.
I couldn’t go and comfort him due to the fear of my girl bolting from the dentist which is on a very busy road.
This is one of the hardest parts of Autism; the choices you cannot make, the decisions are made for you.
I have to favour one of my children to ensure their safety whilst needing to be with the other to give him support.
It broke me.
It broke me, but it was my own fault.
I made the decision to take her with us despite knowing her fear of the dentist.
Me. I did that.
…….and to top it all off we stopped in a shop on the way home to buy them both a present for their bravery, they chose their toy, we went to the checkout……only to realise I had left my handbag at home!!!
Thank goodness my telepathic best friend happened to be in the shop at the same time!
Imagine what would have happened if she hadn’t have been there to pay for the gifts.
My girl on the edge, it doesnt bare thinking about.