It gets too much.
It eats me up.
It swallows me whole and there is no way out.

I live, eat, and sleep Autism.
I am controlled by Autism, by its anxiety.
My life is no longer my own.

I am angry.
I let it get to this point.
I let it control everything.
I allowed it to be boss.
I allowed it….

It is time for me to take that control back.
Anxiety cannot live my life for me.

Anxiety invades every pore.
I let it in because I didn’t know what it was.
I didn’t know why it came, I didn’t know what it wanted.
It wanted me. It wants me.
It has got me.

The control is unbearable.
The need to be the boss is suffocating.
I can’t take anymore.
I am exhausted.
Anxiety has taken everything I have.

I am writing this as a way out.
I am writing this because I know I am not alone.
I am not the only one being led by anxiety.
I know I am not the only one.

Anxiety amongst Autism is extremely common.
Anxiety is common for all children, but for those on the spectrum the experiences could be intensified.
These children live their life on the edge.
They fall down, they meltdown, its just something else for them to deal with.
It is too much…..
…..for us all.


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