1st day at secondary.

She did it!

I remember my first day of secondary school.
I remember being so scared and nervous.
I remember lying awake with questions whizzing around my head and not knowing the answers.
I didn’t know my way around, I didn’t know the teachers names, I didn’t know who was in my tutor group.

My girl didn’t sleep last night, the night before her first day at secondary school.
I imagine she felt much the same as I did.
But she didn’t know what those feelings were.
She didn’t know how to talk to me about them.
She wasn’t the ‘w’ word (worried, she refuses to even use emotion words), and she got very angry when I asked.
If only she just understood that I only ask so I can help her.

Despite the anxiety and very little sleep, she did it!
She went to school.

My girl is the most bravest, toughest, courageous little girl I have ever come across.
Despite her long list of physical disabililities, 24 hours of constant pain and dislocations, lack of sleep, Autism and huge anxieties, she got up, dressed and faced her fears.
Not only faced, she knocked them all out and won the fight.
Victory was hers today.

As ever with Autism and its unpredictability, it is a fight she will battle daily.
She will win though, more often than not, as she really enjoyed it.

Today I saw my girl without the mask she has been wearing for many years.
Today she came back from a school, where she hasn’t had to try to fit in, with a smile on her face.
So, so, SO proud.
Today was the start of something special.

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