I have a son.

I have a son.
He is almost 10, and he is amazing.
He is kind hearted, understanding and the most patient person I know.

I have a son…..
….but not many people know that.

You see, I have two children, but I only ever seem to talk about one of them.

One of them takes up all of my time, even when they aren’t there.
One of them rarely needs me.
One of them is at my side where ever I go.
One of them is happy to amuse themself for hours on end.
One of them needs my constant reassurance.
One of them is more independant than other children their age.
One of them is 11.
One of them is 9.
One has Autism and various other additional needs.
One is a neurotypical child.
One I talk about all the time.
One I don’t.

I have a son.
My girl has a brother.
A little brother, with a cheeky grin and a heart of gold.
A wise head on young shoulders after growing up so quickly.
A young carer with empathy and understanding way beyond his years.
Our anchor in the largest of storms.
Our unsung hero.

My life is consumed with all things Autism and special needs.
My hours are stolen by constant observation and analysis.
Watching her every move, assessing the environment for potential triggers.
Keeping her safe…. keeping us safe.

I am here, my boy.
I will always be here for you.
I may be fumbling around in anxiety ridden fog, but I am here.
I may not always talk about you, but I am always thinking of you.

Special needs siblings can be overlooked.
One of my biggest feelings is of guilt that my time cannot be shared equally.
My boy gets hugs, and cuddles.
My boy gets a bedtime story.
My boy gets everything my girl gets, I just don’t always talk about it.
I should be telling you all how special he is, because he is more than special.
I really hope he knows that, I tell him all the time.
Family life can be difficult at times.
Meltdowns are frightening, every emotion is heightened.
I talk about the things I am struggling with, the things I feel I am failing at, the things I don’t understand.

I have a son.
An amazing, strong, cheerful ray of light.
The best brother to our girl….
….with a smile that will melt your heart. ❤

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