Autism. Anxiety. Parent and child.

Anxiety and Autism seem to go hand in hand.
The world is a difficult, and unpredicatable, place to understand.
It is a place where there are many rules and regualtions.
It is a place where the rules and regulations differ everywhere you go.
There is no consistent.
Expected behaviour is different for each place you visit.
Appropriate language is different for different areas….
….so how then, in a world of routine and consistency, can we help Anxiety in Autism?

It is a mammoth task.
Possibly one you can’t ever finish.
Consistency is key, but in a world that is not consistent, how do we promote that?

Parents with Anxiety.
Do they worsen anxiety in children with Autism?
Is the parents anxiety heightened because of their childs Autism?

I know research has been carried out and proven that parents with Anxiety are more likely to raise anxious children.
This is fact.
But is this fact reality?
I mean facts are facts, but do they allow for life?
Is the reality that we are anxious because we are trying to reduce anxieties for our child?
Is the reality that our anxieties increase because we know the triggers of our childrens anxities?
Are our anxities heightened as we are trying to lessen the things that increase our childrens?

I am a parent with anxiety.
Huge anxiety.

I am anxious.
I am anxious for the future.
I am anxious that in a world of war and violence, teaching right from wrong is a difficult task.

I am anxious.
I am anxious because my anxieties are there for all to see.

I am anxious because I can’t freely voice my anxieties.

My girl is anxious.
All the time.
It affects her life daily.
Her meltdowns are the fallout from this.
She is locked in a world where anxiety is rife.
She is locked in a world of limited communication.
She craves control so there is nothing to worry about….
….If she is in charge them there won’t be anything to be afraid of.

She cannot voice her anxieties.
Autism won’t allow it.

She is learning.
She is showing signs of learning to cope.
Of learning to develop mechanisms of control to alleviate some worries….
…but these mechanisms are not appropriate ways to deal with things.
She becomes violent; lashing out, kicking, pinching, biting, and becoming beyond controlling.
She feels like that is how she should deal with it, but does not understand the consequences of her actions on the people around her.

It is a viscious circle.
One we all visit on a daily basis.
Anxiety, in both children and parents.
Who is to blame?
No one.
In the world that we live in, in a world that is broken-war, crime, uncertainty….
…how can blame anyone?
It is not the parents fault. It is not Autisms fault.

Anxiety is out there for all to see,
That grey cloud everywhere we go.

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