I have had days where I have stood in the shower crying so hard that I didn’t know if I was washing with tears or water.
I’ve watched in the mirror as my laughter lines grow, as ironically, my laughter dies.
I have sat in the night, cowering, watching my shadow.
I have made rabbits with my hands, only to watch them turn into monsters and see them disappear into the night, knowing my fears, like the shadows, are dark.
I have wondered if somehow my body has been turned inside out and now the darkness lives on the outside for all to see.
I have had days where my mind fog has clouded my vision so drastically that I have felt I could no longer see the light.
I’ve watched the clock strum its’ second hand like a string on a broken guitar, for hours on end, waiting for a song, getting the neverending stamping of feet.
I have dreamed of the bright and shiny stars, to be awoken by screams and unforgiving darkness.
I have been at the bottom of the deepest, darkest hole….
….only to climb a rainbow back out again.
I have had days when I have laughed so hard I have cried, then forgotten what I was laughing about.
I’ve watched in the mirror as the laughter lines grow as I look and smile.
I have sat in the night, listening to the soft breaths that get me through the darkest of days.
I search for the clothes to hide my darkness, and use smiles to light up my face.
I open my eyes to the world around me, and find I can see through the fog.
I take off my watch, banish the strumming of the second hand, and take time as it comes.
I lay in the sun feeling the brightness erase the black that had engulfed me.
I found my rainbow to get me out of my darkest hole.