Dark days.

I have had days where I have stood in the shower crying so hard that I didn’t know if I was washing with tears or water.

I’ve watched in the mirror as my laughter lines grow, as ironically, my laughter dies.

I have sat in the night, cowering, watching my shadow.
I have made rabbits with my hands, only to watch them turn into monsters and see them disappear into the night, knowing my fears, like the shadows, are dark.

I have wondered if somehow my body has been turned inside out and now the darkness lives on the outside for all to see.

I have had days where my mind fog has clouded my vision so drastically that I have felt I could no longer see the light.

I’ve watched the clock strum its’ second hand like a string on a broken guitar, for hours on end, waiting for a song, getting the neverending stamping of feet.

I have dreamed of the bright and shiny stars, to be awoken by screams and unforgiving darkness.

I have been at the bottom of the deepest, darkest hole….
….only to climb a rainbow back out again.

I have had days when I have laughed so hard I have cried, then forgotten what I was laughing about.

I’ve watched in the mirror as the laughter lines grow as I look and smile.

I have sat in the night, listening to the soft breaths that get me through the darkest of days.

I search for the clothes to hide my darkness, and use smiles to light up my face.

I open my eyes to the world around me, and find I can see through the fog.

I take off my watch, banish the strumming of the second hand, and take time as it comes.

I lay in the sun feeling the brightness erase the black that had engulfed me.

I found my rainbow to get me out of my darkest hole.

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