Trying.

We spend our days trying.
Trying to live up to expectations so we can fit in.
Trying to be like everyone else.
Trying to do things everyone else does.
But why?

Mum guilt.
Social media.

Everything we see on social media, we believe.
Photos portrating happy moments, statuses depicting perfect lives.
Happy, family days out, holidays, meals.
Jealousy? Perhaps that is what it evokes.
Competition. One-upmanship.

But what if you can’t do all those things?
What if you don’t want to do those things?
What if your favourite family activity is to stay indoors in your pjs all day just doing what makes you happy?

Why do we make life so difficult for ourselves…..why do I?

We can’t just go out without careful planning and preparation.
It is easier to stay home in our place of safety, then holiday and break routine.
Going out for meals is extremely difficult if it is not at a fast food restaurant where food arrives immediately!

Autism doesn’t make our lifes worse than anyone elses.
It may mean we stay home alot, but that way we get to spend time with the best version of our child; happy, safe and calm.

Yes I get jealous, yes I get fustrated when I see everyone is out and about and we are at home. I am only human.

But…..
then I remember how hard it can be for my child to have to spend the whole day trying.
Trying to fit in.
Trying to live up to expectations.
Trying to cope in a world that is so difficult to understand.
Then I realise that it doesn’t matter where we are, or what we are doing, as long as it is what we want to do.
What we need to be doing to keep the calm.

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