Autism and birthday parties.

Birthday parties.
In her infant and junior school years my girl attended a mainstream school.
For years I complained as she never got invited to parties.
Now in her specialist placement, my girl received an invite….
….what followed made me rethink my earlier thoughts, and come to the realisation that perhaps not getting invited was a good thing afterall.

Following the invite came excitement.
The invite was to her best friends party.
Next came anxiety, when she realised there would be others attending.
My girl does not like to ‘share’ her friends.
She likes to be with them, and only them, with no one else to change her plans.
Excitement was replaced by anxiety and fear.
Fear that she wouldn’t be able to have her friend just for her.
(Of course, this is all hindsight after the event!).

Anxiety has robbed her of sleep this week.
Anxiety I can only assume was due to the upcoming party as nothing else was different in our routine.
The meltdown this morning confirmed my fears.

We got there.
My girl worked through her loss of control and anxiety.
She overcame that need to control the situation and we managed to arrive before it started.

It turned out to be a lovely little gathering.
All the children struggled but managed in their own unique ways.
My girl sat back and watched, but found it difficult to socialise.
She covered her face with her hat, hiding herself.
She wanted her friend all to herself.
She found it extremely hard but stayed the whole time!
She was amazing.
Infact, they were all amazing.

So,
Thank you to all those people who never invited my girl to their birthday parties, you actually prevented a whole lot of anxiety that my girl didn’t need!
…….hindsight and all that.

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