A letter to my boy.

Dear my boy,

I wonder if you realise just how important you are on this journey.
How, at 10 years old, you can already do more things with your sister than any adult could ever achieve.
How your calming voice can quiet a meltdown before it begins.

I wonder if you see how much of a role model for my girl you are.
How she quietly watches everything you do, storing it away to use in the future.
How even her conversations are based around things you have told her.

I wonder if you see how much you teach her.
How calm you are in the loudest storms.
How you cope with the repetitive questions without any strain in your voice.
How you manage to play the same game with her over and over again, letting her win, with no complaints, even though you know she is cheating.
How, no matter what she says to you, you stick by her.

I wonder if you realise how your patience gets her through the day.
How she turns to you when things start to get hard.
How she calls you names just because she wants your attention.

I wonder if you can see through the hard days and realise that you are what my girl needs.
Without you…..she could never be without you.
My boy, you are my girls everything.
Her brother, her carer…..her best friend.
My boy, you are our everything.

I know some days you want it all to go away…..I know. I understand.
I know some days you feel the whole world revolves around my girl.
I know some days it feels like we have no time for you.
My boy….you mean more to us all than you will ever understand.

And yes, my boy….somedays Autism is annoying!
Somedays all you get is shouted and screamed at.
Somedays you are called every horrible name she can think of to call you.
I wonder if you know it is because she feels safe enough around you to let all her emotions out.
I wonder if you realise the outbursts are actually her letting you know she loves you.

I wonder if you know that you are the light in our lives, the string that holds us all together.
I hope you know that we love you with every tiny inch of our being.

Thank you for being you.
Love you always,

Mummy and Daddy xx