Waiting for Christmas…

My Facebook feed is full of Christmas Trees. Beautifully decorated trees. It has started. The countdown to Christmas. It started really early this year, but our tree only went up today. Christmas. The best time of the year for my boy. I love it…..I loved it. It is the hardest for my girl. The waiting.…… Continue reading Waiting for Christmas…

I am Autism.

I want control. I need control. I am control. I am Autism. A fear of being out of control. A fear of uncertainty. A fear of feeling unsafe. A fear of being in an unpredictable world. I am Autism. I make the rules. I choose the rules. I am the rules. I am Autism. The…… Continue reading I am Autism.

No Elf on my shelf

Why I don’t do Elf on the Shelf. Tomorrow is the big day. I know for many families this is tradition. I know many families have a lot of fun and joy in doing it, but for us, it’s not to be. Imagine this. My girl at home. A place where she feels safe, a…… Continue reading No Elf on my shelf

Autism, NOT bad parenting.

I have never bitten my child……but my child bites me. I have never hit or kicked my child……but my child does it to me. I have only said a few swear words in front of my child……but my child knows every single swear word out there. I have never had a meltdown in public with…… Continue reading Autism, NOT bad parenting.

RIP 7 Up.

Imagine a 12 year old screaming about a drink she had forgotten to bring home from a restaurant after she’d eaten her tea. Imagine a 3 hour meltdown following because the drink was one of her things and was now wasted. Imagine being screamed and shouted at because you wouldn’t drive her back to get…… Continue reading RIP 7 Up.

The bit no one talks about.

“Hi” “Hi. You ok?” “All good thanks. You?” “Yeah, all ok thanks ” “Haven’t seen you for a while, been up to much?” “No, not really.” “Did you get out to see any fireworks?” “No, we were going to but I got attacked again.” “Oh no. What do you nean again?” “Yeah, it happens alot…… Continue reading The bit no one talks about.

The eyes can’t tell.

The more time I spend trying to analyse my girls behaviour, the clearer it becomes. I begin to see her deep down below the swirls of fustration and confusion. I see her lost eyes shining through the murky fog. I hear her constant questions buzzing trying to get my attention. I feel her anger as…… Continue reading The eyes can’t tell.