Waiting for Christmas…

My Facebook feed is full of Christmas Trees. Beautifully decorated trees. It has started. The countdown to Christmas. It started really early this year, but our tree only went up today. Christmas. The best time of the year for my boy. I love it…..I loved it. It is the hardest for my girl. The waiting.…… Continue reading Waiting for Christmas…

The reality of our autism Christmas.

What. A. Night. What a week, what a month so far! Christmas is such a hard time for my girl. I want to make it lovely, magical…..perfect. I want it to be something she remembers. Happy memories. Special memories. I want to make it something she loves. Every single year as Christmas approaches, behaviours increase,…… Continue reading The reality of our autism Christmas.

Please Santa…..

Please Santa.? When all is quiet, and I get time for me, I will sit and snuggle up under the tree, I will write to Santa, but not ask for presents, All I want this year is Autism Acceptance. I know it is hard for everyone to see, And you all don’t walk in the…… Continue reading Please Santa…..

I am Autism.

I want control. I need control. I am control. I am Autism. A fear of being out of control. A fear of uncertainty. A fear of feeling unsafe. A fear of being in an unpredictable world. I am Autism. I make the rules. I choose the rules. I am the rules. I am Autism. The…… Continue reading I am Autism.

RIP 7 Up.

Imagine a 12 year old screaming about a drink she had forgotten to bring home from a restaurant after she’d eaten her tea. Imagine a 3 hour meltdown following because the drink was one of her things and was now wasted. Imagine being screamed and shouted at because you wouldn’t drive her back to get…… Continue reading RIP 7 Up.

It’s got me…

Sat with the children tonight I laughed. I haven’t laughed for so long, I hadn’t even realised how miserable I have been. Home has been so hard recently that I have neglected myself, physically and emotionally. I feel emotionless, like I feel everything so much that I now feel nothing. All of my feelings are…… Continue reading It’s got me…

The bit no one talks about.

“Hi” “Hi. You ok?” “All good thanks. You?” “Yeah, all ok thanks ” “Haven’t seen you for a while, been up to much?” “No, not really.” “Did you get out to see any fireworks?” “No, we were going to but I got attacked again.” “Oh no. What do you nean again?” “Yeah, it happens alot…… Continue reading The bit no one talks about.