Autism and meltdown

Helpless. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what to say. I talk. I use a calm voice, reassuring. Suggesting, telling. I shout. My temper flaring. I can’t see sense. She can’t see sense. She’s self harming, screaming, shouting. My voice falling on deaf ears. She is…… Continue reading Autism and meltdown

It’s ok to not be ok.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week. Research has found that parents of Autistic children are twice as likely to suffer from a psychiatric illness. I do. A few years ago I had an emotional breakdown. I hid myself away, I was ashamed…. ….but now I stand proud with all the other sufferers, not embarrassed…… Continue reading It’s ok to not be ok.

What a weekend. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry… Today has been rough, today has been hard, My girls’ behaviour has caught me off guard, A long weekend; what she needed I thought, But today has been manic, emotions were fraught. I forgot to remember how she would feel, When the routine was changed, it is a big deal, For her, for…… Continue reading What a weekend. I’m sorry.

Depression.

Depression. From the deepest hole of darkness, I look up to see the light, My feet are tethered to the ground, By anxiety and fright, Depressions’ got a grip on me, I fear it’ll never let go, The space is growing darker, As the evil demon grows. In the deepest hole of darkness, The light…… Continue reading Depression.

Dark days.

I have had days where I have stood in the shower crying so hard that I didn’t know if I was washing with tears or water. I’ve watched in the mirror as my laughter lines grow, as ironically, my laughter dies. I have sat in the night, cowering, watching my shadow. I have made rabbits…… Continue reading Dark days.

Do you remember that girl?

So the good news? Well, actually, amazing news! Do you remember a girl who would refuse to go to school? Do you remember the girls Mum in utter despair at being reprimanded for her daughters late entry to school everyday? Do you remember a girl who used to have meltdowns daily, before and after school?…… Continue reading Do you remember that girl?

Autism. Anxiety. Parent and child.

Anxiety and Autism seem to go hand in hand. The world is a difficult, and unpredicatable, place to understand. It is a place where there are many rules and regualtions. It is a place where the rules and regulations differ everywhere you go. There is no consistent. Expected behaviour is different for each place you…… Continue reading Autism. Anxiety. Parent and child.