Just imagine.

Imagine being so caught up on your own thoughts that decision making becomes impossible. Imagine wanting to do something so badly but part of you won’t allow it. Imagine getting so cross with yourself because you think you can do it, you want to do it, but you can’t. You are trapped. Physically and mentally.…… Continue reading Just imagine.

Saved!

The tornado of negative feelings that has carried me through this week has finally let me go. Reality got me out of there. Remembering that it is not all bad, seeing that it is not all bad. My girl, the positivity I needed to exit the constant spin of feeling a failure. As the whirlwind…… Continue reading Saved!

Listen.

I am not asking people to write me an essay on Autism. I am not asking that they spend their evenings researching the condition. I don’t expect them to understand something I will never fully understand myself. I am just asking one thing…. ….please listen to me. I know my child more than anyone else…… Continue reading Listen.

It could have worked?

So first day back at school today after half term and a weeks holiday. It was supposed to be an easy morning…….because that is what school had planned. It was a good idea, but one I knew was destined to fail. ‘Go with it’ I thought, ‘it may work. It might be the incentive she…… Continue reading It could have worked?

There are days.

There are days where the only way to get through is to plaster on a fake smile over gritted teeth. There are days where the only way to see through the darkness is to block out your surroundings and look to the sky. There are days when the the sound of the birds is what…… Continue reading There are days.

It’s OK to not be OK.

Autism. The bad days. These happen. You feel like a failure. You feel like you want to crawl away and hide. Like everything is too much. You want to put the Autism into a box and put it away. The days you feel you can’t cope. The days you cry through sheer frustration. Through anger,…… Continue reading It’s OK to not be OK.

Is it me?

Is it me? Is it all my fault? Why has my girl been so calm for her Daddy but has been so.on edge for me? Why has she had constant meltdowns all day? Why have I been the target of her physical outbursts? Is it me? Why has she argued that black is white? Why…… Continue reading Is it me?