A letter to my boy.

Dear my boy, I wonder if you realise just how important you are on this journey. How, at 10 years old, you can already do more things with your sister than any adult could ever achieve. How your calming voice can quiet a meltdown before it begins. I wonder if you see how much of…… Continue reading A letter to my boy.

Lonely Autism…

I don’t even know what I want to say. I just want to talk….. I just want someone to listen. ….because in real life there isn’t always someone there. My reality is that I am mostly alone. People upped and left when my girl got her diagnosis. Scared of how to react, what to say…… Continue reading Lonely Autism…

The guilt.

Perhaps it is wrong to admit it. Perhaps I shouldn’t even say it. The guilt eats me up inside every time I send her. …but we need it. Right? Ok. Here goes. Deep breath….. We had a lovely evening whilst my girl was at respite. There. Done. Said. Why do I feel so bad even…… Continue reading The guilt.

What day is it?

I sit here on day, who knows, of the school holidays enveloped in exhaustion. A consuming, greedy, parasite creeping slowly as the days go on. It hasn’t been awful. It has, mostly, been calm… ….but that is what is exhausting. I have worked so hard to make it this way…. ..to keep it this way.…… Continue reading What day is it?

I just want to be a Mum.

If I knew then, what I knew now, Would that make me a better Mum somehow? If I knew the diagnosis, before she was born, If I could have, possibly, been warned. Not warned of the Autism, but of all the fights, Just to get access to her basic rights, An appointment, a specialist, the…… Continue reading I just want to be a Mum.

Amazing Autism sibling.

My boy. I adore the very ground he walks on. He is my calm in the storm. The light in my dark days. My hug in a fight. He is 10. Only 10 years old and he is the person I turn to. His 12 year old sister has Autism and a list of physical…… Continue reading Amazing Autism sibling.

Autism babysitter.

Looking for a babysitter for my child with Autism! Must have some understanding of Autism. Must be able to remain calm and confident. Must be extremely patient. Must be hands on. Must allow for unpredictibility. Must not be tired as cannot guarantee the child will sleep. Must be able to cope with meltdowns. Must expect…… Continue reading Autism babysitter.