I remember…

I don’t remember her first day of school. The year passed by in a blur of upset, stress and guilt. I remember her being held as I left. I remember her screaming and crying because she didn’t want to stay. I remember crying as I walked away. I remember being told that her sessions were…… Continue reading I remember…

Is it really OK to not be OK?

It is OK to not be OK. I know this…. ….but it isn’t OK…..not really. I am a parent, a carer, I have to be OK. I am a special needs Mum, I have to be OK. I have to be strong, I have to always be OK. I am not OK. I can’t ever…… Continue reading Is it really OK to not be OK?

The long nights.

The nights your child wakes before you have got to bed. That sinking feeling when you know you will be sat up all night. Sat there fighting sleep, needing sleep, watching your child full of energy. Knowing that you need to be awake and alert to watch their every move. Whispering to your child to…… Continue reading The long nights.

Feeling alone.

Where did everyone go? What did I do wrong? I seem to have lost most of my friends Since I became a special needs mum. Did you get fed up of listening? Was it just too hard to see? What about how I am feeling? What about me? My life has changed dramatically, I don’t…… Continue reading Feeling alone.

Carers week 2018.

Am I a stay at home mum or a parent carer? ….or both? Where does it differ? When does one move on to the other? It is complicated and hard to understand. I am a stay at home Mum. I am a parent Carer. It is Carers Week here in the UK. A week dedicated…… Continue reading Carers week 2018.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading I’m tired.

Autism Mums; a poem.

Autism Mums; a poem. When it is quiet and I get a moment alone, I think of my girl, how much she has grown, How far she has come in a short space of time, In the darkest of days, she is my sunshine. The visions I had when she was first diagnosed, How I…… Continue reading Autism Mums; a poem.