Autism and meltdown

Helpless. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what to say. I talk. I use a calm voice, reassuring. Suggesting, telling. I shout. My temper flaring. I can’t see sense. She can’t see sense. She’s self harming, screaming, shouting. My voice falling on deaf ears. She is…… Continue reading Autism and meltdown

Autism and excessive eating.

This world is a very confusing place to be. A place full of people we don’t understand. A place full of rules we don’t want to stick to. Rules. That is what ‘our Autism’ struggles with the most…. ….and the consequence of breaking them. She just does not understand, or maybe accept, that things happen…… Continue reading Autism and excessive eating.

Out.

Out. With tears in my eyes, A smile on my face, I’m out making memories, That time can’t erase, Out of our house Where people can see, No sign of my Autism, Cos I’m just being me, But wait, that’s not right, What did I say? I’m out without Autism, I’ve left it at home…… Continue reading Out.

Autism awareness day. Autism reality.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading Autism awareness day. Autism reality.

Blurred lines.

Bad behaviour or Autism? Pre teen angst or Autism anxiety? I cannot use Autism to excuse all of my girls behaviour. I cannot ignore bad behaviour because she has Autism…. ….but how can I tell which is which? There are the obvious behaviours that I can see are the result of her processing difficulties. There…… Continue reading Blurred lines.

What a week.

Some days….weeks….are a struggle. Sometimes we spend our whole time trying. We spend all of our time thinking of, and making plans, to make things work. We spend each and every moment trying to make the world easier for our children…. It fails. When attempts at communication get ignored. When a clear sentance is spoken.…… Continue reading What a week.

Listen. An autism plea.

It’s 2007 and I’m happy but crying Not really sure what I have become, but I’m holding the baby, I am now a Mum In the noisy room of the maternity ward, The air is sterile and clean, and the faces of crying mums and babies can be seen, And I’m feeling so old in…… Continue reading Listen. An autism plea.