I wish.

I wish I could tell her…. That her birthday is nothing to fear, That in the morning it will be here, And the worry she feels will fade away. I wish I could tell her…. As I hear her shout, tears leaking out, That anxiety is not what birthdays are about, And the day’s no…… Continue reading I wish.

The storm. Meltdown.

When I am angry, I like to shout, It’s just the way my feelings come out. I say some things that are quite mean, I am brewing a storm; lets set the scene… My mood is foul, the skies turn black, The clouds are forming, there’s no way back, I bang and crash, my thunder’s…… Continue reading The storm. Meltdown.

Best friends.

Today is my best friends birthday. Happy Birthday! She is my only truely close friend. I know, and like, many people, and say hello to them as we pass, but, if I am honest, I find friendships difficult. I am, I suppose, an unreliable friend. I am one of those who lets you down last…… Continue reading Best friends.

Happy New Year?

I was going to try and write something inspirational. I was going to start by saying I will try and be more positive in my blog. I was going to try and find all the good in Autism and write about that instead. My new years blog resolution was to paper over the cracks and…… Continue reading Happy New Year?

Best Christmas.

We made it through Christmas! Actually, Christmas Day was the best we have had in a very long time. I made some subtle changes this year but they made a very big difference! Christmas decorations were kept to a minimum. Presents were only things she had asked for. (Ssshh but there were alot less presents!)…… Continue reading Best Christmas.

Dark Christmas.

I know you are going to say she can’t help it. I know you will say it is Autism, it is because of Christmas… ….and I know you are right… But it feels personal. It feels like she knows what she is doing.. The anger, the violence, the hurtful words.. ….it is all directed at…… Continue reading Dark Christmas.