Autism, NOT bad parenting.

I have never bitten my child……but my child bites me. I have never hit or kicked my child……but my child does it to me. I have only said a few swear words in front of my child……but my child knows every single swear word out there. I have never had a meltdown in public with…… Continue reading Autism, NOT bad parenting.

It’s got me…

Sat with the children tonight I laughed. I haven’t laughed for so long, I hadn’t even realised how miserable I have been. Home has been so hard recently that I have neglected myself, physically and emotionally. I feel emotionless, like I feel everything so much that I now feel nothing. All of my feelings are…… Continue reading It’s got me…

Lonely Autism…

I don’t even know what I want to say. I just want to talk….. I just want someone to listen. ….because in real life there isn’t always someone there. My reality is that I am mostly alone. People upped and left when my girl got her diagnosis. Scared of how to react, what to say…… Continue reading Lonely Autism…

Things will soon look brighter.

I can’t seem to snap out of this negative phase. Everything just feels so difficult. Everything is such an effort. I am tired. Not just tired, completely exhausted. My positivity and happiness seem to be buried so deep that I can’t quite reach it. I know it is there, I just haven’t got the energy…… Continue reading Things will soon look brighter.

Amazing Autism sibling.

My boy. I adore the very ground he walks on. He is my calm in the storm. The light in my dark days. My hug in a fight. He is 10. Only 10 years old and he is the person I turn to. His 12 year old sister has Autism and a list of physical…… Continue reading Amazing Autism sibling.

So very tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading So very tired.

It’s ok to not be ok.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week. Research has found that parents of Autistic children are twice as likely to suffer from a psychiatric illness. I do. A few years ago I had an emotional breakdown. I hid myself away, I was ashamed…. ….but now I stand proud with all the other sufferers, not embarrassed…… Continue reading It’s ok to not be ok.