It’s got me…

Sat with the children tonight I laughed. I haven’t laughed for so long, I hadn’t even realised how miserable I have been. Home has been so hard recently that I have neglected myself, physically and emotionally. I feel emotionless, like I feel everything so much that I now feel nothing. All of my feelings are…… Continue reading It’s got me…

Lonely Autism…

I don’t even know what I want to say. I just want to talk….. I just want someone to listen. ….because in real life there isn’t always someone there. My reality is that I am mostly alone. People upped and left when my girl got her diagnosis. Scared of how to react, what to say…… Continue reading Lonely Autism…

I have no idea….

I read about people with Autism having meltdowns. I read how we should try and reason, understand and explain the persons feelings to them. I read how we should stay silent allowing the person to process their emotions. I read how we just need to be there to offer support. I read so much of…… Continue reading I have no idea….

Things will soon look brighter.

I can’t seem to snap out of this negative phase. Everything just feels so difficult. Everything is such an effort. I am tired. Not just tired, completely exhausted. My positivity and happiness seem to be buried so deep that I can’t quite reach it. I know it is there, I just haven’t got the energy…… Continue reading Things will soon look brighter.

Post school holiday blues.

The first 2 days of school are over! My girl is smiling and routine has returned as if school was never finished. ….then there is me. *insert sad face* You’d think I would feel happy and relaxed. I feel sad and lonely. I miss having the children home, the chaos, the noise. My girl is…… Continue reading Post school holiday blues.

Lost.

Somenights I want to sit and write all of my thoughts and feelings, but it is just to awful to put into words. I want to write what it has really been like today, but I get scared that I will be judged. I want to get these jumbled feelings flying around my head on…… Continue reading Lost.

Who am I?

I have published this before, but it still a question I struggle with daily. Am I a stay at home mum or a parent carer? ….or both? Where does it differ? When does one move on to the other? It is complicated and hard to understand. I am a stay at home Mum. I am…… Continue reading Who am I?