Lost.

Somenights I want to sit and write all of my thoughts and feelings, but it is just to awful to put into words. I want to write what it has really been like today, but I get scared that I will be judged. I want to get these jumbled feelings flying around my head on…… Continue reading Lost.

Who am I?

I have published this before, but it still a question I struggle with daily. Am I a stay at home mum or a parent carer? ….or both? Where does it differ? When does one move on to the other? It is complicated and hard to understand. I am a stay at home Mum. I am…… Continue reading Who am I?

It’s ok to not be ok.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week. Research has found that parents of Autistic children are twice as likely to suffer from a psychiatric illness. I do. A few years ago I had an emotional breakdown. I hid myself away, I was ashamed…. ….but now I stand proud with all the other sufferers, not embarrassed…… Continue reading It’s ok to not be ok.

Depression.

Depression. From the deepest hole of darkness, I look up to see the light, My feet are tethered to the ground, By anxiety and fright, Depressions’ got a grip on me, I fear it’ll never let go, The space is growing darker, As the evil demon grows. In the deepest hole of darkness, The light…… Continue reading Depression.

Expectations of parenting.

Am I the parent I thought I would be? I think about this alot. I thought I would be so different…. …..but I’m not. I think we all do it. We all think, for example, we won’t give our children sweets, they won’t be allowed screen time, they will in bed by 7pm every night;…… Continue reading Expectations of parenting.

Dark days.

I have had days where I have stood in the shower crying so hard that I didn’t know if I was washing with tears or water. I’ve watched in the mirror as my laughter lines grow, as ironically, my laughter dies. I have sat in the night, cowering, watching my shadow. I have made rabbits…… Continue reading Dark days.

Autism and the other 699,999.

Did you know that there are around 700,000 people on the Autism Spectrum in the UK? That is more than 1 in 100….. ….yet I still find myself having to justify my childs differences in public. My child is 1 person with Autism. That leaves 699,999 other people, and/or their carers, having to do the…… Continue reading Autism and the other 699,999.