That knot…..

Since my girl started her new school so many people have asked how she is getting on. Everyday when I take my boy to school, her old teachers, TAs, parents of children I know, parents of children I don’t know, ask about her. They care…… …..for years I thought they didn’t. When she was at…… Continue reading That knot…..

Online gaming. Fitting in.

She wants to fit it. She wants to play and join in with everyone else…. ….except what she does is not play, or join in. She wants to be the boss, make the rules. She wants to be in control. She wonders why her brother and his online gamer friends won’t play with her anymore.…… Continue reading Online gaming. Fitting in.

Our Autism.

The violence. That’s what I hate about Autism. It’s not everyones’ Autism, but it is Our Autism. I don’t know if it is communication, or whether she wants to hurt me. I feel like its the latter, but I know that is probably not the case. It takes over her like a power she cannot…… Continue reading Our Autism.

I am Autism.

I want control. I need control. I am control. I am Autism. A fear of being out of control. A fear of uncertainty. A fear of feeling unsafe. A fear of being in an unpredictable world. I am Autism. I make the rules. I choose the rules. I am the rules. I am Autism. The…… Continue reading I am Autism.


My girl is starting a new medication tonight. It is to help manage her pain long term. Whilst I am happy that, potentially, we can make her feel better, I am scared. Anything new with my girl fills me with dread. My girl took the medicine and is excited that it might work….. …..then was…… Continue reading Changes….