Autism and feelings.

People with Autism don’t have feelings? Whilst I can feel happy She feels nothing? Whilst I can feel sad She feels nothing? Whilst I can feel angry She feels nothing? Whilst I can feel content She feels nothing? Whilst I can feel excitement She feels nothing? Whilst I can feel guilt She feels nothing? When…… Continue reading Autism and feelings.

Our Autism and sleep.

I am tired. My girl and sleep have never had the best relationship. Right from the day she arrived, sleep was never her priority. She would only ever sleep swaddled tightly in a blanket. We waitied but she didn’t sleep through the night……and still doesn’t at 12 years old. Today she started her day at…… Continue reading Our Autism and sleep.

Words.

Some days I have so much to say, I just don’t know where to start. Ideas, problems, solutions and everyday thoughts render me unable to think about one thing clearly. My mind is constantly noisy, different conversations competing to be heard. My head is too loud. The words don’t come. I wonder if this is…… Continue reading Words.

Listen. An autism plea.

It’s 2007 and I’m happy but crying Not really sure what I have become, but I’m holding the baby, I am now a Mum In the noisy room of the maternity ward, The air is sterile and clean, and the faces of crying mums and babies can be seen, And I’m feeling so old in…… Continue reading Listen. An autism plea.

Happy to sad…

Why is parenting so hard? So painfully hard? My girl. My heart hurts for her today. She wasn’t well but wanted to go to school for her favourite lesson with her favourite teacher. This is unheard of for her. School used to be the thing she hated the most. I was so, so proud of…… Continue reading Happy to sad…

Don’t worry.

“Don’t worry about what other people think.” I tell people this all the time. I try so hard to practice what I preach, I really do, but sometimes I can’t. Somedays that bit of my brain goes into overdrive and that is all I worry about. …..but that’s ok, isn’t it? I mean, is it…… Continue reading Don’t worry.

All is calm.

As these calmer days go on, I find myself questioning what we are doing differently. What are we doing right? Things are settled. Things are normal for us. Not everyones normal, but no violence, no screaming, no uncontrollable rage, no meltdowns. Things are good. Homelife is good. Our house has been full of illness for…… Continue reading All is calm.