Fear…

She comes over to me. I flinch. Am I going to get hurt? Is she going to bite, kick, shout or punch? I freeze in terror. But she just leans on me. ….She just wanted a hug. I want to hug her back but she has gone. Just the briefest of touches. I sit in…… Continue reading Fear…

Best friends.

Today is my best friends birthday. Happy Birthday! She is my only truely close friend. I know, and like, many people, and say hello to them as we pass, but, if I am honest, I find friendships difficult. I am, I suppose, an unreliable friend. I am one of those who lets you down last…… Continue reading Best friends.

How it is.

Sometimes I wish that people could see, A day through my eyes; what it’s like to be me. To spend all of my time doing things I am told, Will help my girl now as she grows to be old. To attend all the appointments that come in the post, To organise my day before…… Continue reading How it is.

Who to follow?

Follow your heart, Isn’t that what they say? What if your heart is sending you down a path your head says you shouldn’t be taking? Parenting a child with Special Needs means this is exactly how I feel everyday. What if my heart is saying keep her home today, but my head is saying keep…… Continue reading Who to follow?

Best Christmas.

We made it through Christmas! Actually, Christmas Day was the best we have had in a very long time. I made some subtle changes this year but they made a very big difference! Christmas decorations were kept to a minimum. Presents were only things she had asked for. (Ssshh but there were alot less presents!)…… Continue reading Best Christmas.

Our Autism version. The night before Christmas.

‘Our Autisms’ night before Christmas. T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Every creature was stirring, even the mouse. The stockings weren’t hung on the fireplace with care, They were pulled off in a rage and thrown onto the chair, My boy was all snuggled up in his bed, Whilst my girl…… Continue reading Our Autism version. The night before Christmas.

‘It’.

I want to reach in and pull it out. Every. Last. Bit. I want it to stop. I want it to leave my child alone. I want it to stop stealing the happiness. I want it gone. All of it. Why is it taking over? Why can’t I make it stop? I don’t want to…… Continue reading ‘It’.