That ‘W’ word.

As I tried to console my girl, I absent mindedly used the ‘W’ word. I was greeted by rage. Uncontrollable, raw rage. I know not to use it. We have had this discussion many, many times. I can’t use the ‘A’ word, the ‘G’ word, the ‘S’ word, the ‘E word, or any other of…… Continue reading That ‘W’ word.

Unwell hugs.

Oh my girl, how I hate to see you unwell. How I hate to see you in pain and discomfort and not know how to soothe you. Oh my girl, how I love the cuddles when you are unwell. How I love that you feel reassured by resting your body against mine. Oh how I…… Continue reading Unwell hugs.

Fear…

She comes over to me. I flinch. Am I going to get hurt? Is she going to bite, kick, shout or punch? I freeze in terror. But she just leans on me. ….She just wanted a hug. I want to hug her back but she has gone. Just the briefest of touches. I sit in…… Continue reading Fear…

I wish.

I wish I could tell her…. That her birthday is nothing to fear, That in the morning it will be here, And the worry she feels will fade away. I wish I could tell her…. As I hear her shout, tears leaking out, That anxiety is not what birthdays are about, And the day’s no…… Continue reading I wish.

‘It’.

I want to reach in and pull it out. Every. Last. Bit. I want it to stop. I want it to leave my child alone. I want it to stop stealing the happiness. I want it gone. All of it. Why is it taking over? Why can’t I make it stop? I don’t want to…… Continue reading ‘It’.

No to the Elf on the shelf.

Why I don’t do Elf on the Shelf. Tomorrow is the big day. I know for many families this is tradition. I know many families have a lot of fun and joy in doing it, but for us, it’s not to be. Imagine this. My girl at home. A place where she feels safe, a…… Continue reading No to the Elf on the shelf.