Schools out for summer.

I always feel so happy about the school holidays…..well, what I mean is I always want to feel happy. I imagine them to be wonderful weeks of outings and fun. What I know is different. When they begin, reality kicks in. And all I feel is fear. There is very little to take my mind…… Continue reading Schools out for summer.

So very tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading So very tired.

What happens then?

I am reaching the end of my tether. Fed up of fighting and chasing. Angry that I have to watch my child suffer because of a system which isn’t working. Annoyed that I have to keep complaining. But….. …..I can do, and feel, all those things. Today it hit me. When my girl is over…… Continue reading What happens then?

Autism and excessive eating.

This world is a very confusing place to be. A place full of people we don’t understand. A place full of rules we don’t want to stick to. Rules. That is what ‘our Autism’ struggles with the most…. ….and the consequence of breaking them. She just does not understand, or maybe accept, that things happen…… Continue reading Autism and excessive eating.

It’s ok to not be ok.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week. Research has found that parents of Autistic children are twice as likely to suffer from a psychiatric illness. I do. A few years ago I had an emotional breakdown. I hid myself away, I was ashamed…. ….but now I stand proud with all the other sufferers, not embarrassed…… Continue reading It’s ok to not be ok.

Pain.

I can’t decide what is worse: Seeing your child in pain, or knowing there is nothing you can do to help. Today they are both breaking my heart. I am angry because my child has this ‘thing’ that I cannot take away. I am upset because I wish it was me that was hurting instead.…… Continue reading Pain.