A letter to my neighbours.

Dear neighbours, I sit here crying not knowing what to say as sorry never seems enough. I don’t know what I am even apologising for, I just feel the need to explain. To explain away the noise, the shouting, the endless nights we have kept you awake. My silent tears fall as the chaos around…… Continue reading A letter to my neighbours.

Some days.

Some days my girl can’t sit still. Some days she has 101 things on the go, unable to concentrate on 1 thing. Some days my girl is so anxious, and her self esteem so low, that she thinks everything she does is ‘rubbish’. Some days my girl is so restless her fustration cause meltdown… ……some…… Continue reading Some days.

Emotion help?!

Does any one elses child absolutely refuse to say, or be told they are, any of the emotion words? We are struggling so much as they come up in everyday sentances and then my girl gets fixated and angry about the word we used. Tonight it is the ‘t’ word. A daddy long legs flew…… Continue reading Emotion help?!

The eyes can’t tell.

The more time I spend trying to analyse my girls behaviour, the clearer it becomes. I begin to see her deep down below the swirls of fustration and confusion. I see her lost eyes shining through the murky fog. I hear her constant questions buzzing trying to get my attention. I feel her anger as…… Continue reading The eyes can’t tell.

Autism. I just don’t know.

Autism. I don’t know, and my anxiety feeds off this. The not knowing…. The not understanding… Only knowing what you have read and researched, Encountering behaviours that you don’t understand the origin of. Never understanding what you have experienced. Will we ever know…..fully? Will we ever understand…..completely? About Autism? Will we ever fully understand Autism?…… Continue reading Autism. I just don’t know.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I was talking to a family member today about how hard Saturday was. His reply? “Why didn’t you ring and ask me to come over?” Why didn’t I? Before I had even had chance to think, “because it is embarassing” came out of my mouth… …because it is. Isn’t it? I am a mother of…… Continue reading Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

This was a hard day.

I want to write about all the good stuff. I want to tell you what makes Autism amazing. I want to tell you all the positive things that will make you keep reading… …but I can’t. Not today anyway. Today has been horrendous. There have been near constant meltdowns. I haven’t been able to stop…… Continue reading This was a hard day.