Respite….the guilt

I woke up this morning in a panic. My girl has been away for 2 nights respite. I had slept through and thought something awful had happened! 2 nights of sleep and I feel like a new woman. This morning, after the panic resided, I woke up with a feeling of dread, fear, anxiety? I…… Continue reading Respite….the guilt

It’s got me…

Sat with the children tonight I laughed. I haven’t laughed for so long, I hadn’t even realised how miserable I have been. Home has been so hard recently that I have neglected myself, physically and emotionally. I feel emotionless, like I feel everything so much that I now feel nothing. All of my feelings are…… Continue reading It’s got me…

Mums on benefits

I have read a few posts on social media about Mums on benefits….you know the ones…. So here it is. Lets talk about being an Autism Mum. The truth I am a stay at home mum. On benefits. I also am a qualified paediatric nurse. I went to college for 3 years then university for…… Continue reading Mums on benefits

I have no idea….

I read about people with Autism having meltdowns. I read how we should try and reason, understand and explain the persons feelings to them. I read how we should stay silent allowing the person to process their emotions. I read how we just need to be there to offer support. I read so much of…… Continue reading I have no idea….

Things will soon look brighter.

I can’t seem to snap out of this negative phase. Everything just feels so difficult. Everything is such an effort. I am tired. Not just tired, completely exhausted. My positivity and happiness seem to be buried so deep that I can’t quite reach it. I know it is there, I just haven’t got the energy…… Continue reading Things will soon look brighter.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I was talking to a family member today about how hard Saturday was. His reply? “Why didn’t you ring and ask me to come over?” Why didn’t I? Before I had even had chance to think, “because it is embarassing” came out of my mouth… …because it is. Isn’t it? I am a mother of…… Continue reading Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

This was a hard day.

I want to write about all the good stuff. I want to tell you what makes Autism amazing. I want to tell you all the positive things that will make you keep reading… …but I can’t. Not today anyway. Today has been horrendous. There have been near constant meltdowns. I haven’t been able to stop…… Continue reading This was a hard day.