I remember…

I don’t remember her first day of school. The year passed by in a blur of upset, stress and guilt. I remember her being held as I left. I remember her screaming and crying because she didn’t want to stay. I remember crying as I walked away. I remember being told that her sessions were…… Continue reading I remember…

Is it really OK to not be OK?

It is OK to not be OK. I know this…. ….but it isn’t OK…..not really. I am a parent, a carer, I have to be OK. I am a special needs Mum, I have to be OK. I have to be strong, I have to always be OK. I am not OK. I can’t ever…… Continue reading Is it really OK to not be OK?

Autism and grieving….

Another piece of my heart is broken. It hurts…..but I know why. I cry, but I know why I am crying. My girl saw me cry but didn’t seem to realise, or even notice. I shout, I scream; I’m angry, but I understand why I feel that way. I sob into my pillow when I…… Continue reading Autism and grieving….

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading I’m tired.

The C Word.

“Grandad has got cancer.” I never imagined myself ever saying those words. Ever. Cancer. That C word that everybody fears. That horrible world that brings with it uncertainty and darkness. The fear, it’s big ugly friend, comes with it and engulfs a person whole. It revels in terrorising your body, your friends, your family, and…… Continue reading The C Word.

The little things.

The simple things. Life. It goes so quick that we forget to enjoy it. Life is moving so quickly, it is hard to see things clearly. We are constantly busy, the clock ticks by and we have no time to notice it. The seconds turn to minutes, to hours and before you know it, the…… Continue reading The little things.

SATs are over!

So the stress, the turmoil, and the anxiety got the better of us. The SATs were not to be. Watching my child suffer over something that will never mean anything to her, was just too much. I just couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it…. ….so we didn’t. Couldn’t. I tried to make it…… Continue reading SATs are over!