Another school year done…..and what a year that was!I haven’t really talked about the fact that my girl was back in school.Since the beginning of April my girl has been doing 2 days a week.She desperately needed the routine, and we needed a break.It wasn’t an easy decision, it took a lot of guilt ridden…… Continue reading Summer!

Autism and dogs.

I must admit that I was extremely worried about getting a dog when my girl is so volatile.I was worried that her violence may frighten it, or that my girl may harm the dog.But, in hindsight, I needn’t have worried.The dog was one of the best things we have ever done, not just for my…… Continue reading Autism and dogs.

Be kind to yourself.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week. Research has found that parents of Autistic children are twice as likely to suffer from a psychiatric illness.I do.A few years ago I had an emotional breakdown.I hid myself away, only the closest people to me knew, I felt so ashamed….….but now I stand proud with all the…… Continue reading Be kind to yourself.

The reality of how difficult emotions are for my girl. ❤ Does she feel them? Understand them? Know the physical sensations they provoke? She knows the words, but does she know what they mean? She doesn’t show them on her face, or through her body language, I wonder if she recognises them in us? Is…… Continue reading

Come find me when it’s over.

I don’t mean to wrap my girl in cotton wool…..but I do. I don’t mean to be an over protective mum….but I am. I am an anxious mum. I worry about everything…….and more. It is not something I can control, it is just me. Mrs Pessimist. One thing I said from the outset about my…… Continue reading Come find me when it’s over.


Listen. It’s 2007 and I’m happy but crying Not really sure what I have become, but I’m holding the baby, I am now a Mum In the noisy room of the maternity ward, The air is sterile and clean, and the faces of crying mums and babies can be seen, And I’m feeling so old…… Continue reading 2007

After the storm.

She comes over to me. I flinch. Am I going to get hurt? Is she going to bite, kick, shout or punch? I freeze in terror. But she just leans on me. ….She just wanted a hug. I want to hug her back but she has gone. Just the briefest of touches. I sit in…… Continue reading After the storm.

Be kind.

(Carer) Staring eyes watching, People judging, Calling us names, Pointing the finger of blame, No one asking, Or trying to understand it, Tongues tut-tutting, Everybody’s looking. (Onlooker) Watching the child, Parents let them run wild, Shouting and screaming, Parents just stood watching, My comments ignored, Childs’ lying on the floor, My mind’s all a blur,…… Continue reading Be kind.

Autism acceptance.

Yesterday we had a really great day. We spent most of the day, in a busy public place, with friends. It was loud, noisy, chaotic and we took part in unplanned activities. But…. We had no meltdowns in public. None! Not even a flicker of one. We managed to enjoy the whole time, and take…… Continue reading Autism acceptance.

Autism. Parent anxiety.

I am an anxious mess. Is it just me who thinks all they ever say is negative things about their child? I don’t mean to, but I know that is what I do. It is not that there aren’t any positives, there are, so why am I this way? My child doesn’t like praise, hates…… Continue reading Autism. Parent anxiety.