The reality of our autism Christmas.

What. A. Night. What a week, what a month so far! Christmas is such a hard time for my girl. I want to make it lovely, magical…..perfect. I want it to be something she remembers. Happy memories. Special memories. I want to make it something she loves. Every single year as Christmas approaches, behaviours increase,…… Continue reading The reality of our autism Christmas.

No Elf on my shelf

Why I don’t do Elf on the Shelf. Tomorrow is the big day. I know for many families this is tradition. I know many families have a lot of fun and joy in doing it, but for us, it’s not to be. Imagine this. My girl at home. A place where she feels safe, a…… Continue reading No Elf on my shelf

Normal?

How can there be a normal when your normal is so different to mine? I wondered this today when I heard a woman say, “that’s not normal is it?” to her friend as she walked by us in a shop. My girl was growling because a baby was crying and she could not bare the…… Continue reading Normal?

Emotion help?!

Does any one elses child absolutely refuse to say, or be told they are, any of the emotion words? We are struggling so much as they come up in everyday sentances and then my girl gets fixated and angry about the word we used. Tonight it is the ‘t’ word. A daddy long legs flew…… Continue reading Emotion help?!

Lost.

Somenights I want to sit and write all of my thoughts and feelings, but it is just to awful to put into words. I want to write what it has really been like today, but I get scared that I will be judged. I want to get these jumbled feelings flying around my head on…… Continue reading Lost.

The perfect Autism parent.

I don’t know what just happened. One minute all was calm, the next minute a scene of utter confusion. I stare on like a rabbit in the headlights. Shocked, panicked, scared. I can’t move. I daren’t move. I don’t know what to do. It came from nowhere. I want to calm my child but my…… Continue reading The perfect Autism parent.

Depression.

Depression. From the deepest hole of darkness, I look up to see the light, My feet are tethered to the ground, By anxiety and fright, Depressions’ got a grip on me, I fear it’ll never let go, The space is growing darker, As the evil demon grows. In the deepest hole of darkness, The light…… Continue reading Depression.