Lost.

Somenights I want to sit and write all of my thoughts and feelings, but it is just to awful to put into words. I want to write what it has really been like today, but I get scared that I will be judged. I want to get these jumbled feelings flying around my head on…… Continue reading Lost.

The perfect Autism parent.

I don’t know what just happened. One minute all was calm, the next minute a scene of utter confusion. I stare on like a rabbit in the headlights. Shocked, panicked, scared. I can’t move. I daren’t move. I don’t know what to do. It came from nowhere. I want to calm my child but my…… Continue reading The perfect Autism parent.

Depression.

Depression. From the deepest hole of darkness, I look up to see the light, My feet are tethered to the ground, By anxiety and fright, Depressions’ got a grip on me, I fear it’ll never let go, The space is growing darker, As the evil demon grows. In the deepest hole of darkness, The light…… Continue reading Depression.

Oh to be normal!

Oh to be normal, What would that mean? I’d be dressed up all trendy In a hoody and jeans? I’d be out playing on my scooter, Zooming around on my bike? Having fun with my friends, Doing what I like? I’d pretend to be older, Try hard to fit in? I’d dye my hair all…… Continue reading Oh to be normal!

Strength.

Strength. Something you need in abundance being a carer for a child with Autism. Not just physical strength but emotional strength. Strength to change. To change yourself. To stop accepting what is. To stop doing things you do, because your child cannot cope with change. Strength to change things. To adapt your life, to move…… Continue reading Strength.

No to the Elf on the shelf.

Why I don’t do Elf on the Shelf. Tomorrow is the big day. I know for many families this is tradition. I know many families have a lot of fun and joy in doing it, but for us, it’s not to be. Imagine this. My girl at home. A place where she feels safe, a…… Continue reading No to the Elf on the shelf.

That knot…..

Since my girl started her new school so many people have asked how she is getting on. Everyday when I take my boy to school, her old teachers, TAs, parents of children I know, parents of children I don’t know, ask about her. They care…… …..for years I thought they didn’t. When she was at…… Continue reading That knot…..