SATs are over!

So the stress, the turmoil, and the anxiety got the better of us. The SATs were not to be. Watching my child suffer over something that will never mean anything to her, was just too much. I just couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it…. ….so we didn’t. Couldn’t. I tried to make it…… Continue reading SATs are over!

SATs. Exams for 11yr olds.

I feel sad about the world today. Angry about the way we have to conform. Guilty for the way I am making my child feel. Annoyed that I am being controlled by education. My child is mine. Not educations. Not the governments. Nobody elses but mine….. ….yet here I am making my child fit in.…… Continue reading SATs. Exams for 11yr olds.

Horrible, horrible anxiety.

Gnawing. Destroying. Damaging. Poisoning. Spoiling. Eroding. Wrecking. Shocking. Saddening. Consuming. Disturbing. Horrifying. Panicking. Upsetting. Worrying. Threatening. ……..Anxiety. Feeling so empty….. ……yet feeling so full of emotions. Nibbling, biting, chewing, gnawing, eating away at you. Constantly burrowing, crawling under your skin. There. Always there. Creeping, crawling, tunneling its way in. I read something today about anxiety…… Continue reading Horrible, horrible anxiety.

School reports.

School reports. I hate them. Alot. What are they for? Who are they for? Not for me! When my child is at school I am not in charge of her anymore. If they work well, it is because you are teaching them well. Yes, ok, I am interested in the subjects they are doing, but…… Continue reading School reports.

New school!

I have spent years asking for it. Years fighting for it. Years justifying every single reason that she needed it…. ….so why, when she finally gets it, do I feel a little sad? I know the answer. The result is bittersweet. The result is confirmation. Confirmation of what I already knew. Confirmation of the diagnosis…… Continue reading New school!

Autism, being different is a good thing.

Today was superhero day at school. The children had worked hard to design their own superhero, and today they were able to dress up and become them for a day. This worried my girl greatly. (She hates superheros and tends to favour the more naughty characters!) She had said she wasn’t going to go in…… Continue reading Autism, being different is a good thing.

Our Autism groundhog day.

Do you ever feel like you are being left behind? Friends move on, family members have their own families, people get jobs, have babies….. Me? I just stay me. Unemployed. With very few friends. Isolated and lonely. Standing still in a world that is moving too quickly around me. I am a carer. A stay…… Continue reading Our Autism groundhog day.