The long nights.

The nights your child wakes before you have got to bed. That sinking feeling when you know you will be sat up all night. Sat there fighting sleep, needing sleep, watching your child full of energy. Knowing that you need to be awake and alert to watch their every move. Whispering to your child to…… Continue reading The long nights.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading I’m tired.

Autism. It is all my fault.

Autism… …..it is all my fault. My baby wasn’t planned. I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I was Anorexic and Bulimic. I wouldn’t eat for days and then I would binge and vomit. …..it is all my fault. I didn’t eat properly when I was pregnant. I worked 12.5 hour shifts where I was on…… Continue reading Autism. It is all my fault.

The concept of New Year.

Happy New Year! Today is 2017. Tomorrow is 2018. A simple concept for you and I, Not a simple concept for My Girl. Imagine not having a good sense of time. Imagine not being to tell how long 5 minutes is. How long a day is. A week. A month…….a year. Then imagine me telling…… Continue reading The concept of New Year.

So proud.

So proud. So exhausted… ….but more proud! 3 nights of next to no sleep. Huge meltdowns. Stimming. Repeating the same thing over and over. Anxiety, huge anxiety. But…. …..she did it!! Tonight was the school xmas fayre. Being in the last year of primary meant the children were given more responsibility. They were given their…… Continue reading So proud.

Ill.

As my girl drifts off to sleep I am grateful to be sitting down. I am ill. I have an infection and I just want to sleep…. ….but I can’t. I have a child with Autism. I can’t be ill. I am not allowed. My child just does not understand. It is not in her…… Continue reading Ill.

Just grumpy?

It might be just me getting older, but I feel like I cannot tolerate people anymore. It might be just because I have a child with a disability that not many people understand. It might be just because I have a child with a disability that people are aware of but don’t make the effort…… Continue reading Just grumpy?