Autism. It is all my fault.

Autism… …..it is all my fault. My baby wasn’t planned. I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I was Anorexic and Bulimic. I wouldn’t eat for days and then I would binge and vomit. …..it is all my fault. I didn’t eat properly when I was pregnant. I worked 12.5 hour shifts where I was on…… Continue reading Autism. It is all my fault.

Positivity.

Ask my girl a question, any question, and you will always get the same answer. “Dunno”. Whilst I understand it is down to her not knowing what she is expected to answer, I find it really frustrating! She knows the answer but cannot tell us…. ….imagine how frustrating that is for her. It got me…… Continue reading Positivity.

Birthday Boy. Sibling

“Have you enjoyed your birthday my boy?” “I liked all my presents but not all the….ARGH!!” My girl. My girl is the argh! The shouting, screaming, controlling. The behaviours we expect on someone elses birthday. The everything we don’t want to see. We expect it. We prepare for it. We countdown for birthdays. We buy…… Continue reading Birthday Boy. Sibling

Dear Visitors at Christmas.

Dear Visitors at Christmas, Dont be suprised if my house is a mess, The floor is all dirty, children not dressed I can’t do the hoovering, it is too loud, There’s already too much noise around, We don’t sing the carols or turn on the lights, We have to do, what for us, feels right.…… Continue reading Dear Visitors at Christmas.

Normal?

Normal? Right, I am just going to say it…. Today my girl has been normal, the day has been normal. Is that even something I can say? What does that mean anyway? Normal? It is such a weird word. Who defines normal? Who decides normal? What even is normal? I don’t know any normal people.…… Continue reading Normal?

Angry.

Argh…..!!! You know when you feel so angry that you need to shout, to scream!? School. Education. The system. I have had enough. I am not the professional. I have not had the training to be qualified. So how is it I can do their jobs better than them? How is it it that I…… Continue reading Angry.