Biting..and consequences

Biting has always been an issue with my girl. It seems to come in cycles now as opposed to the everyday bites I used to receive! They are my girls way of communicating something. Something that I don’t always understand. My girls way of gaining the sensory input needed to calm. I don’t like it…… Continue reading Biting..and consequences

Amazing Autism sibling.

My boy. I adore the very ground he walks on. He is my calm in the storm. The light in my dark days. My hug in a fight. He is 10. Only 10 years old and he is the person I turn to. His 12 year old sister has Autism and a list of physical…… Continue reading Amazing Autism sibling.

Fed up.

I don’t hate Autism…. ….but I don’t always like it. I don’t like the way I don’t understand it. I don’t like the way I can’t see the world through its’ eyes. I don’t like the anxiety and fustration. I don’t like the meltdowns and violence. I don’t like the way it hurts me. I…… Continue reading Fed up.

So very tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading So very tired.

Autism and meltdown

Helpless. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what to say. I talk. I use a calm voice, reassuring. Suggesting, telling. I shout. My temper flaring. I can’t see sense. She can’t see sense. She’s self harming, screaming, shouting. My voice falling on deaf ears. She is…… Continue reading Autism and meltdown

What a weekend. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry… Today has been rough, today has been hard, My girls’ behaviour has caught me off guard, A long weekend; what she needed I thought, But today has been manic, emotions were fraught. I forgot to remember how she would feel, When the routine was changed, it is a big deal, For her, for…… Continue reading What a weekend. I’m sorry.

Dark days.

I have had days where I have stood in the shower crying so hard that I didn’t know if I was washing with tears or water. I’ve watched in the mirror as my laughter lines grow, as ironically, my laughter dies. I have sat in the night, cowering, watching my shadow. I have made rabbits…… Continue reading Dark days.