A letter to my neighbours.

Dear neighbours, I sit here crying not knowing what to say as sorry never seems enough. I don’t know what I am even apologising for, I just feel the need to explain. To explain away the noise, the shouting, the endless nights we have kept you awake. My silent tears fall as the chaos around…… Continue reading A letter to my neighbours.

So very tired.

I’m tired of always having to fight, I’m tired of being the one to put things right, I’m tired of always having to explain, I’m tired of repeating myself over again, I’m tired of teaching people who should know better, I’m tired of writing emails and letters, I’m tired of my words falling on deaf…… Continue reading So very tired.

Work?

“You can go back to work now your girl goes to school.” A sentance more than one person has said to me this week. I don’t like it. I don’t like the assumption that now my girl is going to school, that everything has magically changed. The truth is; my girl has not changed, she…… Continue reading Work?

1st day at secondary.

She did it! I remember my first day of secondary school. I remember being so scared and nervous. I remember lying awake with questions whizzing around my head and not knowing the answers. I didn’t know my way around, I didn’t know the teachers names, I didn’t know who was in my tutor group. My…… Continue reading 1st day at secondary.

Autism. It is all my fault.

Autism… …..it is all my fault. My baby wasn’t planned. I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I was Anorexic and Bulimic. I wouldn’t eat for days and then I would binge and vomit. …..it is all my fault. I didn’t eat properly when I was pregnant. I worked 12.5 hour shifts where I was on…… Continue reading Autism. It is all my fault.

So proud.

So proud. So exhausted… ….but more proud! 3 nights of next to no sleep. Huge meltdowns. Stimming. Repeating the same thing over and over. Anxiety, huge anxiety. But…. …..she did it!! Tonight was the school xmas fayre. Being in the last year of primary meant the children were given more responsibility. They were given their…… Continue reading So proud.

Lonely at Christmas.

Lonely at Christmas. At this time of year I start to feel lonely. I see photos of people having fun at Christmas parties on social media. I see pictures of people having friends over for a chat and glass of wine. I see get togethers and coffee dates. I feel lonely…….and envious. We can’t do…… Continue reading Lonely at Christmas.