I am tired. My girl and sleep have never had the best relationship. Right from the day she arrived, sleep was never her priority. She would only ever sleep swaddled tightly in a blanket. We waitied but she didn’t sleep through the night……and still doesn’t at 12 years old. Today she started her day at…… Continue reading Our Autism and sleep.
Some days I have so much to say, I just don’t know where to start. Ideas, problems, solutions and everyday thoughts render me unable to think about one thing clearly. My mind is constantly noisy, different conversations competing to be heard. My head is too loud. The words don’t come. I wonder if this is…… Continue reading Words.
Time. I have lost all track of time. I waste so much of it. Everyday is spent waiting for it to be time to do something. I don’t have time to to spare, but lose so much of it. Waste it; on things that don’t even need my time. I should have time to do…… Continue reading Time.
Oh my girl, how I hate to see you unwell. How I hate to see you in pain and discomfort and not know how to soothe you. Oh my girl, how I love the cuddles when you are unwell. How I love that you feel reassured by resting your body against mine. Oh how I…… Continue reading Unwell hugs.
Sometimes I wish that people could see, A day through my eyes; what it’s like to be me. To spend all of my time doing things I am told, Will help my girl now as she grows to be old. To attend all the appointments that come in the post, To organise my day before…… Continue reading How it is.
I am a parent with anxiety. On top of all the things have to worry about as a Mum, and as a parent of a child with special needs, I worry about things that don’t matter. Not just worry, it is more than that. I get fixated on something that I cannot change and make…… Continue reading That monster.
You’d think I would feel happy and relaxed. My girl is enjoying school and going in with no problem. She is coming home happier and meltdowns are less intense. I should feel energised, refreshed….. ….but I just feel…..urgh. 11 years of stress, sleepless nights and being on alert 24/7 has left me drained. 8 years…… Continue reading Urgh….