I just want to be a Mum.

​If I knew then what I knew now, Would that make me a better mum somehow? If I knew the diagnosis, before she was born, If I could have, possibly, been warned. Not warned of the Autism, but of all the fights, Just to get access to her basic rights, An appointment, a specialist, the…… Continue reading I just want to be a Mum.

Bad day.

​You get your bad days. They are bound to happen. Then you get days like today. REALLY bad days. A day of anger, violence, lashing out. A day of anxiety, of meltdowns. A day of seeking constant reassurance. A day of sensory seeking, loss of control, hitting, scratching and biting. A really bad day. Where…… Continue reading Bad day.

Guess where we went?

​Guess where we went today? My girl ran straight under the chair. As quiet as a mouse, not moving an inch So she didn’t know she was there. Guess where we went today? My girl has been here before, Instead of going in the room, My girl sat rigid on the floor. Guess where we…… Continue reading Guess where we went?

Fear…

​Sometimes I forget how scary a meltdown is. How scary it looks. How frightening it is….for her….and for onlookers. To us it is normality. The screaming, the shouting, the violence, the loss of control. It is normal. Part of our everyday life. I am not scared of it. I know what to expect, I know…… Continue reading Fear…

Support groups.

​When my girl was first diagnosed the mere mention of a support group made me feel ill. I had visions of sitting around in a circle introducing myself and child. Having to talk about my problems. Having to accept them. Having to admit my child had disabilities. I wanted to keep it all locked up.…… Continue reading Support groups.