Normal?

Normal? Right, I am just going to say it…. Today my girl has been normal, the day has been normal. Is that even something I can say? What does that mean anyway? Normal? It is such a weird word. Who defines normal? Who decides normal? What even is normal? I don’t know any normal people.…… Continue reading Normal?

My little rainbow.

Because I made you, I thought I’d know just what to do, That I would understand you, That love would get us through. Because you grew in me, I thought I would know everything, I didn’t know what life would bring, But I didn’t know anything. Because I didn’t understand, Life wasn’t going as I…… Continue reading My little rainbow.

Stuff.

My head is so full of stuff. Stuff to do. Stuff to think about. Stuff I am worried about. Stuff I don’t need to think about. It is full. To bursting point. My head aches. Physical pain from storing stuff. The stuff all parents store, but then the extras having a child with additional needs…… Continue reading Stuff.

Pupdate.

Our Puppy, Domino, has been with us for 12 days. 12 days of bonding, 12 days of playing, 12 days of seeing tiny things I have never seen before in my girl. Tiny little recognitions of emotions, of feelings and empathy. The puppy has become my girls teacher. Domino is, very slowly, leading my girl…… Continue reading Pupdate.

Anxiety..

Gnawing. Destroying. Damaging. Poisoning. Spoiling. Eroding. Wrecking. Shocking. Saddening. Consuming. Disturbing. Horrifying. Panicking. Upsetting. Worrying. Threatening. ……..Anxiety. Feeling so empty yet feeling so full of emotions. Nibbling….biting….chewing….gnawing….eating away. Constantly burrowing, crawling under your skin. There. Always there.

9 years.

9 years of sleepless nights 9 years of learning to see the world from a different perspective. 9 years of parent classes. 9 years of endless hospital appointments. 9 years of comments, pointing and staring. 9 years of very little time together. 9 years of meltdowns. 9 years of hurt, despair and helplessness. 9 years…… Continue reading 9 years.