Attack of the senses.

The senses. Our senses. Something I take for granted, I expect them to work. What if they don’t? What if they are too sensitive? What if they are not sensitive enough? What if the senses were so muddled that they couldn’t do their job properly? Imagine how hard it would be too process all those…… Continue reading Attack of the senses.

Where are you?

As I look into your eyes I see, Anxiety staring back at me, Your empty face looking on, Where, My Girl, have you gone? As I watch you stimming as you stare, I wonder if you are aware, You’ve wondered off, anxiety latched on, Where, My Girl, have you gone? I watch you when you…… Continue reading Where are you?

Woe be me.

Today has been hard. Really hard. The change in routine due to no school and our upcoming holiday has introduced some very challenging behaviours. It’s a viscous cycle for me. ….for me. The selfish one. The one who feels the need to talk about how Autism is hard for me….. I live in a loop.…… Continue reading Woe be me.

If and when.

If all you’ve got is darkness, When all you need is light, If all you’ve got is silence, When you need to put up a fight, If all your insides are screaming, When you need to say how you feel, If you don’t understand your emotions, When you can’t tell what is real, If all…… Continue reading If and when.

The Autism Meltdown.

I have to admit that it is easy to take meltdowns personally. To feel as though the whole thing is directed at you. Like it is your fault. The hurt and anguish as you see your child out of control and wish you could have prevented it. The physical pain you feel as a result…… Continue reading The Autism Meltdown.

Sensory nightmare.

Supermarkets. Noisy, loud and busy places, Full of people with blurry faces, Lights too bright, buzzing loud, Too many noises, too many sounds, Trolleys crashing, wheels squeaking, The swish of the doors opening and closing, Bottles chink, crisp packets rattle, Children giggle, babies babble, Tvs flicker, music is too loud, The food packets each making…… Continue reading Sensory nightmare.

Meltdown; the way it feels.

Up and then down, Around and around, It spins, we spin, It stops. Pause. Down and down, Aggression is found, It kicks, it bites, It stops. Pause. The reasons are lost, Why it started is forgot, It screams, it shouts, It stops. Pause. The rage is inside, We are holding it down, It fights and…… Continue reading Meltdown; the way it feels.