The dark side of Autism.

​My girl has a side of Autism that no one likes to talk about.

Not even me.
A dark side.

Many blogs focus on the positives of Autism.
The feel good factors.
The milestones reached that they weren’t expecting, the achievements.
The things to be proud of.

But what about the dark side?
It exists and is a very real part of it.

Are people aware?
Do people realise that frustrations often result in violence?
Hitting, kicking, spitting, biting.
Daily occurences.
Usually directly at me…..mostly directed at me.

Are people aware that people with Autism often self harm?
So frustrated that they distract themselves by hurting themselves?
Biting themselves until they bleed, banging their heads against a wall, chewing through wood getting splinters in their mouths.

Why don’t we talk about it?
Because it upsets people?
Because people are horrified by it?
Because it is not socially accepted behaviour?
Because it is a taboo subject?

Are people aware that this is communication?
Violence is a communication tool.
Not acceptable by any means, but often the only way they can communicate and get their needs met.
Again, not acceptable……but real.

Usually directed at me….mostly directed at me.

The biting.
I get bitten on an almost daily basis.
A result of a complete loss of control.
I get hit, I get kicked, I get my hair pulled.
When she reaches that point I am scared….
……scared of my own child.
I shield myself if she runs over to me.
Fear.
It’s not ok.
But it is real.

It is part of Autism.
The dark side that people don’t like to talk about.

We try our best to avoid the triggers of meltdowns, of aggression, but sometimes it is beyond our control.
We teach that violence is not acceptable. 
We teach it is wrong to hit, or be hit.
But when that mist fogs their brain and all control is lost, their actions are no longer their own.
They are like reflexes to overloads.

Not acceptable.
But real.
Very real.

The dark side.