Fear…

She comes over to me. I flinch. Am I going to get hurt? Is she going to bite, kick, shout or punch? I freeze in terror. But she just leans on me. ….She just wanted a hug. I want to hug her back but she has gone. Just the briefest of touches. I sit in…… Continue reading Fear…

I wish.

I wish I could tell her…. That her birthday is nothing to fear, That in the morning it will be here, And the worry she feels will fade away. I wish I could tell her…. As I hear her shout, tears leaking out, That anxiety is not what birthdays are about, And the day’s no…… Continue reading I wish.

The storm. Meltdown.

When I am angry, I like to shout, It’s just the way my feelings come out. I say some things that are quite mean, I am brewing a storm; lets set the scene… My mood is foul, the skies turn black, The clouds are forming, there’s no way back, I bang and crash, my thunder’s…… Continue reading The storm. Meltdown.

Best friends.

Today is my best friends birthday. Happy Birthday! She is my only truely close friend. I know, and like, many people, and say hello to them as we pass, but, if I am honest, I find friendships difficult. I am, I suppose, an unreliable friend. I am one of those who lets you down last…… Continue reading Best friends.

How it is.

Sometimes I wish that people could see, A day through my eyes; what it’s like to be me. To spend all of my time doing things I am told, Will help my girl now as she grows to be old. To attend all the appointments that come in the post, To organise my day before…… Continue reading How it is.

Who has the disability?

Hidden disabilities. Are they? I mean, once we understand the disability, is it really hidden? I could probably pick out a child on the spectrum because I know……I understand. To the public yes it is hidden. Not the disability. The diagnosis. The understanding of the diagnosis. Not so much hidden, but misunderstood. My girl doesn’t…… Continue reading Who has the disability?

Who to follow?

Follow your heart, Isn’t that what they say? What if your heart is sending you down a path your head says you shouldn’t be taking? Parenting a child with Special Needs means this is exactly how I feel everyday. What if my heart is saying keep her home today, but my head is saying keep…… Continue reading Who to follow?