Angry.

Argh…..!!!
You know when you feel so angry that you need to shout, to scream!?
School. Education. The system.
I have had enough.

I am not the professional.
I have not had the training to be qualified.
So how is it I can do their jobs better than them?
How is it it that I have to tell them how and what to do?
They are getting paid to do what I tell them!
……I am so cross.

They should know.
They should know the ins and outs of the system.
They get training. They are trained.
I’m not……but I know more!
I have lost all confidence.
Just in one aspect of school life, but it is that aspect that holds my childs fate in her hands.

I just don’t understand it.
I send my child there for 30 hours a week (well….you know….ish!!).
I need to be confident that things are being done properly.
I need to know they understand what they are doing.
I am 99% happy with with school, and 1% not.
I don’t like to single people out, I don’t like to make anyone feel bad, but I have reached a point where this Autism Mum is not going to be able to keep her temper under wraps for much longer.

I am my daughters advocate.
I will do whatever I need to do to get what she needs.
I have had to learn to fight, to say what I really feel and what we want/need, but I am fighting a battle with someone who has no knowledge…..
….but who thinks she knows everything.
I feel like I am banging my head against a wall.

Just one of those days.
The ones where you want to crawl under a rock and stay there until everything is better.
But nothing ever will be better because so few people actually understand.